pick up lines

topic posted Thu, May 8, 2008 - 11:48 AM by  Brian
I feel like being an obnoxious bloody bastard this weekend when I'm out and need some material...
posted by:
Brian
New Orleans
  • Re: pick up lines

    Thu, May 8, 2008 - 7:21 PM
    Obnoxious bloody barstid is not something you FEEL. It's something you ARE. Start by sending an eviction notice to the Louvre.
  • Re: pick up lines

    Thu, May 8, 2008 - 11:49 PM
    How bout, "Hi, I'm meat to please you,"
    • Re: pick up lines

      Thu, May 8, 2008 - 11:53 PM
      ha! that's a good one.

      i went into a bar once to meet up w/a couple friends. just as i was walking in one of them spilled a drink in her lap. i said to her 'did you spill a drink in your lap, or are you just happy to see me?'

      hmm, prolly not applicable in a lot of situations. maybe go up to a girl you're irresistably attracted to & spill a drink in her lap & then try it.

      fuck. nevermind. i'm too tired to make this work right now.
  • Re: pick up lines

    Fri, May 9, 2008 - 10:14 AM
    HERE ARE SOME OF MY ALL-TIME WINNERS! THEY HELP ME GET LOTSA CHICKS, THE GIRLS HEAR THOSE LINES AND THEY JUST WANNA HAVE THE SEX WITH ME. YOU CAN'T USE ANY LINE WITH ANY GIRL THOUGH, YOU GOTTA KNOW HOW TO USE THEM. THAT'S THE ADVICE FROM A PICKUP EXPERT, IS TO KNOW HOW TO USE THESE LINES.

    1. Haven't I seen you at the grocery store, the laundromat, the coffee house, and all those other places I follow you around to?
    2. That's a spectacular dress; it would look great on my sister.
    3. My mom told me never to talk to strangers, but she's not here right now!
    4. Would you like to come home and see my centipede collection?
    5. That's a great dress; it would look swell on me.
    6. I'd buy you a drink, but I'm broke.
    7. I was gonna get some snazzier clothes to go out in, but I hadta' get my car fixed.
    8. You know, I've been in prison in all of my past lives!
    9. Hi. I just farted.
    10. I've never kissed a girl before!
    11. In a past life I used to be a janitor!
    12. Oh look, my lip's bleeding!
    13. You look so good I just about shit my pants!
    14. I saw you when I first walked in here, but now that I've had a few drinks I'm much more interested!
    15. I'll bet you ten dollars I can jump around like a monkey and sing disco songs at the same time.
    16. I have really hairy balls.
    17. Did you take a shower today? I didn't!
    18. Those pants make you look fat. You oughtta take them off.
    19. I can't think of anything to say right now. Can I just stand here and look at you?
    20. I wish I were you, because then I'd be getting picked up on by me.
    21. I bet you've never seen an apartment with as many cockroaches as mine!
    22. If you wanna see me cry just go ahead and reject me!
    23. You look just like my ex-girlfriend. She was a real bitch.
    24. Oh, this isn't my real hair, it's a toupee. If you wanna see my real hair . . .
    25. I'd like you to be the pineapple in my fruit salad.

Recent topics in "Bad advice on any subject"

Topic Author Replies Last Post
Moving issues JM 6 Yesterday, 9:18 AM
hangovers are icky. Miss Gillian 15 May 10, 2008
What are you going to get me for my birthday? Ted 14 May 10, 2008
Sandbox 20 May 10, 2008
brown fingers shekky 7 May 10, 2008