Twice a day the janitor comes into my office to clean out my trash, then takes a couple minutes extra to talk sports with me.
That's fine.
But one out of every three visits or so he'll fart. Mostly the silent but deadly variety. This has been going on since January.
I want to say something to him, like, "Fucking hell, man, don't do that shit in my office!"
But the guy is old enough to be my grandfather.
That's fine.
But one out of every three visits or so he'll fart. Mostly the silent but deadly variety. This has been going on since January.
I want to say something to him, like, "Fucking hell, man, don't do that shit in my office!"
But the guy is old enough to be my grandfather.
posted by:
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New Orleans
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Thu, April 24, 2008 - 10:38 AMRespect the old fart. -
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Thu, April 24, 2008 - 11:38 AM<<Respect the old fart. >>
There is simply no comment I could possible add after that
*Golf clap* -
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Thu, April 24, 2008 - 4:07 PMgive the man lots more beans and fiber. -
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Sat, April 26, 2008 - 1:57 PMTake him out for burritos.
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Thu, April 24, 2008 - 4:33 PMQuit talking sports and start talking trash with him.
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Fri, April 25, 2008 - 3:49 AMAnd step to it, it's playoffs time. I mean, what are we talking about here? Practice? No it's playoffs!
Listen for the (* light background piano *)
This is where trash talking happens....
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Fri, April 25, 2008 - 3:38 PMwhen y'all are talking football, keep pointedly referring to how this or that team needs to have a "tighter end". i'm sure he'll get the point. -
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Fri, April 25, 2008 - 4:31 PMC'mon, be a Man and out-fart him! -
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Fri, April 25, 2008 - 5:33 PMnext time he farts, drop a deuce in the trash. -
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Fri, April 25, 2008 - 8:28 PMnext time he farts ask him if he is on Lopid... -
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Sat, April 26, 2008 - 1:58 PMEverytime he farts, create a new alt on tribe!
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Sat, April 26, 2008 - 2:12 PMOne good fart deserves another...go fart in his office or at least punch him in the face and kick him in the dick -
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Sun, April 27, 2008 - 10:44 AMWrite a sternly worded e-mail, in the process of which you re-experience the trauma. Have a couple of drinks after work while stewing over it. Lose your keys. Let Mr. Stanley buy you rounds and rounds of cartoon sorority girl drinks 'til the plot of the Dukes of Hazard episode on the bar TV seems convoluted. Dribble on some redneck's leg in the piss-stall. Hit someone. Make it count. Deck that guy counting out nickels at the Plaid Pantry. Take a swing at your arresting officer. Anyone but the guy you're actually mad at. -
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Mon, April 28, 2008 - 9:30 AMEris: you summed up my weekend....strange. -
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Tue, April 29, 2008 - 7:45 PMcue up the theme to I Dream of Jeanie and play it everytime he farts.
mood music is everything.
or, howabout some moody blues?
Breathe deep the gathering gloom
Watch lights fade from every room
Bedsetter people look back and lament
Another day's useless energy's spent
Impassioned lovers wrestle as one
Lonely man cries for love and has none
New mother picks up and suckles her son
Senior citizens wish they were young
Cold-hearted orb that rules the night
Removes the colors from our sight
Red is grey and yellow white,
But we decide which is right,
And which is an illusion. -
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Tue, April 29, 2008 - 10:11 PMBreathe deep the gathering gloom
-------------------------------------------------
i saw this graffito'd in a bathroom stall once, somewhere in AZ i think. it's not often that bathroom stall grffiti really makes me laugh, but that one did it.
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Unsu...
Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Thu, May 1, 2008 - 1:01 PMI have never seen the words to "Tuesday Afternoon" written on a bathroom stall before.
As for the old janitor's farts, there is nothing that can be done. -
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Thu, May 1, 2008 - 1:31 PMShall I just impale myself with shards from broken florescent lights while whistling the tune “The Girl from Ipanema” then? -
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Unsu...
Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Thu, May 1, 2008 - 4:24 PMFarting elderly janitors are a form of karma.
you must have done something awful. -
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Fri, May 2, 2008 - 3:13 AMTsk, tsk. Accentuate the positive!
In Egypt, black cats are considered good luck.
In France, when a pigeon shits on you, you get a free wish.
You must have done something really good. Enjoy your karma. Invite him for dinner. -
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This is the maximum depth. Additional responses will not be threaded.
Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Fri, May 2, 2008 - 7:50 AM>In France, when a pigeon shits on you, you get a free wish<
I saw a guy get hit with a pigeon egg in SF. What does he get? -
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Fri, May 2, 2008 - 3:20 PMThe weird thing was, he totally didn't notice. I had to tell him. -
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Re: Farting @ Work Redoo
Sat, May 3, 2008 - 1:34 AMI think you should totally understand that this is a natural bodily function, and try to desensitize people to this normal, everyday, misjudged "butt puff." Confront him in a loud voice, in FRONT of co-workers. Question aloud, " YOU JUST FARTED, DIDN"T YOU?" "I KNOW YOU DID IT STINKS IN HEAR LIKE INDIA AFTER A COUNTRYWIDE BUFFET!" Everyone will benefit from just bringing it into the light.
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